i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
