Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize