you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
