"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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