What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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