I think I died a long time ago.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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