I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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