I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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