I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
