He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize