With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
