Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize