but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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