i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
