ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
do herpes really smell.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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