party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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