I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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