You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
