well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
