my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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