Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
