I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize