my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
