Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she peed on how many people?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
