when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
