you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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