You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize