I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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