I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My dick has a subreddit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize