I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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