It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
