We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
