walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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