im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
