Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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