It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize