I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
