is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
