I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think people are normalizing furries
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
