dude i'm inner monologue high
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
