It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
