I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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