Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize