My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
