i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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