KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
