: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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