just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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