Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
