pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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