i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
