whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Text me some of your sweat
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
