Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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