pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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