Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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