I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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