the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
