2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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