if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
