my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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