we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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